HP Printer

I bought a HP OfficeJet 3831 printer for printing stuff.

It was cheap, really cheap. This is because printer manufacturers make more out of the ink than they do on the printer!

Ergo, I have outwitted them with their plan to make me buy loads of ink. Firstly, the automatic renewal of ink, which is essentially a subscription, just doesn’t make sense to me other than I keep buying ink when they decide – not when I do. Instead, I have changed the print settings to use less ink.

I am still on the cartridges that came with the machine that were stated as being ok for a measly 9 standard pages. I have achieved this by creating my own print settings called “drafty”. This uses the least amount of ink and, although the quality is “draft” it produces a perfectly acceptable standard for me [most of my printing is invoices and letters ie not photos or anything special].


The only fly in the ointment here is the printer, suspiciously, reverts to using a higher standard every single time – even when a document is printed and a second copy is required. I have changed every setting imaginable yet it still insists on this. Ergo, every time I print I have to go into printer settings and choose my “drafty” wheeze.

Bish bosh: saving dosh.

Other points of note: I got fed up of all the weird problems with networking it and having to constantly reboot it to get it back on wireless. Instead, I connected it to my PC using the USB.  Less is more regarding the paper tray – if you put too much paper in the tray it will take several sheets at a time – how much is too much – dunno.

Words of Wisdom

When I was a small human I went to a thing called ‘nursery school’ where, I might add, I excelled at all things.

A Toilet

One day, I decided to see if I could see where the water went in the toilet. Ergo, I put my head right in and had a look – this was achievable because my head was small enough at that time.

Let me tell you, I could see nowt.

Therefore, do not put your head in the toilet because there’s nothing to see and you’ll learn nothing.

Very Long Hose

Got a new hose for our Henry vacuums.

Storage and handling is much easier because this hose is smaller than the 2 metre standard hose yet expands to about 9 metres. At under 15 quids it’s a bargain and I’m going to get an additional one.

People think, “He’s only got a little hose“. Yet, I’ve actually got a huge hose.

Bizzarly, the picture on the bag what it came in is of me:

Little Hose: Long Hose

Click here to get one